At Donnelly Effect, we love “working happy”...using happiness by design to emphasize an inspired culture of service. But we’d be remiss to pretend that leaders, employees, customers, etc. don’t get angry every now and then. One key to working happy is your ability to show and express a full range of emotions. This includes anger.
As a leader, you are the person others vent to. Other times, your managerial role is the driving source of another’s anger. How you handle this fury will shape the way your team addresses anger among themselves moving forward, so it’s important that you harness it appropriately.
Internalize, or hold onto, feelings of anger for too long, and your feelings snowball into an uncontrollable ball of rage waiting to explode. Both options are counterproductive at best for building a healthy and thriving service culture. In just seconds, trust, motivation, and respect are wiped clean, leaving you with a team that’s frightful and disengaged.
Working angry is quite literally the opposite of working happy – and a method we don’t suggest you make a habit of. The consequences are greater when you work angry, such as your personal mental health, your team’s mental health, and your business’s bottom line.
Leaders should stop trying to hide negative emotions and learn to express how they feel in a controlled and civilized way instead. By all means, be angry, but be intelligent while you’re angry. This means acknowledging – not ignoring -- your feelings and finding a way to express them in a better light.
Internalizing anger, or blaming another for your anger, can be taxing on the team’s well-being. Realize that you feel this way, then resolve to not let it fester for too long.
Say what you need to say to communicate your feelings to your team in a calm, level-headed way. “I’ve got to be honest: the fact that we lost that contract to our competitors makes me frustrated. I feel like we could have done better.”
State what you’re going to do turn the situation into a positive one that motivates. “Remember when we lost that contract to our competitors? Let’s recall how bad that felt and make sure we never feel that way again!”